I'm Back and Feeling Regressed

No that wasn't a typo, you were expecting the word refreshed but that would be a lie. My 'vacation' was less than stellar but what's a guy to do? More on that in a minute.

I hope you enjoyed Sideshow's guest blogging. He would have done more but he had some technical issues, (keep in mind this guy's VCR's still flash 12:00) but I got lots of positive feedback. Thanks again Sideshow!

I am writing this from my computer in the place I just moved in to, surrounded by boxes waiting to be unpacked and I'm sweating. Why am I sweating? Because the electrical circuit for my living room can't handle my air conditioner, so I have to choose between the Air conditioner or the computer...actually I have to choose between my A/C and ANYTHING, even a lamp trips the breaker if the A/C is on!

So why am I 'regressed' and not 'refreshed'? Lets go back...It was a Friday and I began my vacation on a road trip to the lake with the family and bore witness to the most disgusting bathroom in creation...Think of the bathroom from the movie 'Trainspotting' but with more clutter. Sadly I'm not kidding. Anyhow once at the lake things were great until my wife lost the key to the Women's Shower meaning I had to take a three hour round-trip to get a replacement key...and now because I am sharing this with you I will soon be moving again...to the doghouse.

The fun didn't stop there though! No not for Payne, I had to cut short the vacation plans as we suddenly got confirmation that the house we wanted was available WAY earlier than anticipated which forced the most disorganized, panicky move I've done. I spent 3 precious vacation days moving and I am not even half done yet. Have I mentioned how much I hate moving? No? Well I hate it like Supermodels hate buffet's.

Let's start with the actual lugging of furniture and appliances. I hate it so bad! Trying to get the furniture through a doorway or a stairwell requires a NASA engineer and some of those peasants that helped build the Pyramids! It must have taken 15 minutes to get my computer desk through my porch. Plus all the walls get gouged and as my good buddy D pointed out, I always injure myself. So far I have sandwiched two fingers on my right hand (the ring finger and the one we use to 'communicate') between a door jam and a dryer. I Squished my left forearm between a fridge and a door, smashed my left shin on the back of a truck and hurt my forehead, no wait that was from smashing my head against the wall repeatedly after the circuit breaker tripped for the 5th time.

There is also the taking apart/putting back together chores that frustrate me. Why is it that every screw that I need to loosen/tighten gets stripped? I hate Ikea.

I can't forget the 'Where'd that end up' game either. Y'know, like this morning when I went to shave and couldn't remember where my razor was? So I got ready for work then drove to my old house where the razor was, and realized that the deodorant was at my new house...so don't stand too close to me today.

Finally the battle over who gets what room, and what stuff goes where. This time around it hasn't been too bad. The Battle Royal was limited to my desire to have the computer in the living room and the wife's desire to have it in the basement. Eventually I caved on some other stuff and so I got the computer where I wanted it. Anyone know a good florist?

Ultimately of course I will be happy because the house is bigger and offers more privacy but mostly I will be relieved to have the move over with. I still have some holiday time left too , maybe I could use it to something really wierd, like go on a holiday!

Until next time remember, no Payne no gain!