Time to get Someone Else to do My Work!

To all my homies out there in NPNG land I must warn you that your daily dose will be a little different for the next week as I am going on holidays, but never fear! I would never leave you without your fix, so for the next week NPNG will be written by guest blogger and my close personal friend Sideshow.

Back in 1994, My beloved Canucks made it to game 7 before losing the
Stanley Cup to the New York Rangers, OJ Simpson took the world on a
low-speed chase in a White Bronco and Kurt Cobain was tasting shotguns. Forrest Gump was huge and the Sitcom "Friends" debuted and made us all feel like they were our friends too. Shortly after Major League Baseball cancelled its season I met Sideshow juuuuust after he was forced to move to Winnipeg.

He and his lovely wife and two dogs and I all became great friends (Ok the one dog wanted to eat me) and soon I met my wife and we all hit it off in fine fashion. Sideshow found a better deal in a flatter province however and moved after only a short stint in the Peg. Setting up in the Queen's city Sideshow and I kept in touch and occasionally visited each other as his brood grew to a staggering 4 children (Most of which are apparently his). In an effort to introduce you to Sideshow I thought I’d throw in a few important questions to see how he measures up. Here goes.

Sideshow Q & A

1 What quality do you think defines you best?
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Oh, you talkin to me? ummmmm Attentive. Okay okay, would you settle for charmingly sarcastic?

2 Who were your heroes growing up?
Bobby Orr, Darryl Sittler, and Benny Hill.

3 Why do you cheer for the Roughriders?
Their jerseys match the colour of my blood - Green.

4 What is your favourite movie?
Ferris Bueller's Day Off

5 If you could be someone else (and not me) for a day who would you be, and why?
Quagmire from Family Guy, he is the model of persistence and confidence in spite of facts.

6 What do you want the No Payne No Gain, (NPNG), readers to know about you?
Spell check is Sideshow's kryptonite.

7 What are the pros and cons of public and private health care?

Pros of public health care - It is universal - everyone gets the same slow service delivered by not enough underpaid (albeit dedicated and competent) practitioners, unless you are a cabinet minister.

Cons - of public health care - It is universal - everyone gets the same slow service delivered by not enough underpaid (albeit dedicated and competent) practitioners, unless you are a cabinet minister.

8 Who is cooler and why; Austin Powers or Indiana Jones?
Austin Powers. He proves that chicks dig hairy backs.

9 What public figure/celebrity do you think is the most over-hyped in our society?
Paris Hilton

10 What is the biggest disappointment you've witnessed in the world of sports?
A tie -
(A). The fact that in my memory the Riders have only hosted 1 home playoff game in my memory (1988), and I wasn't even living in Regina to witness it!
(B). A brutal call robbed us of the chance to see a Habs vs. Leafs Stanley Cup in 1993. I'm still bitter.

BONUS QUESTION

Why are "the Simpsons" so important not only to you personally, but our society as a whole?

It's ability to look at a controversial situation, poke fun at it from a few different angles, and have BOTH sides of the debate find humour in it without being completely insulted.

Sideshow is a huge sports fan with an unhealthy obsession for the
Saskatchewan Roughriders, and he knows a fair deal about hockey also. While he has been known to wear dresses he is a legend in the hair growing community. In fact he once grew a playoff beard during a round of poker. I hope you enjoy his input while I 'm gone. I now throw it over to Sideshow....here’s the keys pal, try not to wreck it.

Payne will be back on the 24th of August, check back all next week for fresh fodder from Sideshow!