Payneful Top 10 - Embarrassing Moments

I saw someone yesterday in the midst of an embarrassing moment and I thought to myself; "Oh poor guy...I think I'll share your misery with the world when I blog about you." So here it is;

EMBARRASSING MOMENTS

10) Getting caught picking your nose - Don't even try to tell me that you don't do it. Everyone does. Normally you do it in the bathroom where you can blow your nose in peace, but occasionally you can feel it and just want to breathe easy so you do a quick-pick. The only thing that sucks is when someone sees you and then you have to deny it. "I was scratching" You say in a know-it-all tone...sure whatever big guy. You know I busted you.

9) Food in teeth - So there you are on a date and you just finished a nice dinner. You try to be charming and give your best smile as you flirt, when you notice her gaze seems to miss your eyes. "You have something...(then she wrinkles her nose and shows her teeth and points)" You immediately close your lips and probe with your tongue but it's too late...The broccoli ruined your evening.

8) Tucked in Skirt - This one is for the ladies. Imagine going to the can and when you are done you are tucking your shirt into your skirt before returning to your job as a hostess for a busy family restaurant. After about 5 minutes and dozens of customers, some kind souls says; "Miss your skirt is up in the back" You reach back and realize that you actually tucked the bottom of your skirt into your waistband and now your undies have been on parade to the world. Ouch!

7) Drunken Injuries - You only had a 'few' drinks when you decided to jump off the roof and into the pool. Unfortunately you missed and broke your leg and now you have to explain it to everyone. Way to go.

6) Sneaking a peek - You are on a date again or possibly out with a spouse and you spot somebody that is gorgeous. You check them out and realize you are being asked a question. When you turn and say; "Pardon?" You realize they know you were looking. "I thought that was...." you trail off knowing it's too late.

5) The Boss sees you slacking off - Maybe you are playing solitaire, or chatting on the phone. It could be doodling or reading a joke email. In my case it was leaning back and trying to balance something on my chin...(Hey the Chinese acrobats do it!) Anyway I heard, "Don't drop it" Which I immediately did and then turned pretty red. There is no answer for that one.

4) Falling asleep in class - This one isn't limited to school, it could be a course for work, or a meeting. The bottom line is, snapping back to consciousness only to realize everyone is staring at you. Even better if you snore, or drool.

3) Talking about someone that you didn't know was there - In my case this happened in high school as I was making fun of a girl to a friend of mine when I saw her name on a list. "Salmon?! What kind of name is Salmon? HA ha ha" My friend and I cracked up just prior to a girl introducing her friend to us...the one with the last name Salmon. "What's Your Name?" I reply quietly while staring at the ground "...Payne" Yeah I think she is still laughing about that one.

2) Forgetting the name of someone important - There are several ways this one can go. I remember back in the late 80's a representative of the US Government introduced Canadian Prime Minister Brian Mulroney as Prime Minister Maloney. Yah, they love us. Well it happens to all of us and the worst is when you see someone that thinks you are a great buddy and you end up in that moment where a third party comes by and you have to make the intro. "Oh hi Mike! This my friend..." (growing uncomfortable silence as your face turns red and you draw a blank before inevitably saying;) "...I'm sorry what was the name again?" Calling them the wrong name entirely is also embarrassing. "This is my friend Jim" (he interrupts) "Actually it's Tom." (more uncomfortable silence). This type of thing happens to me far too often.

And the number one embarrassing moment;

1) Busted for Farting - You thought you were alone so you let one rip. It makes your eyes water when suddenly the guy interviewing you for the job steps in to the office to meet you and immediately gags. Who yah gonna blame it on? The goldfish on his desk? Alternately, you think you're alone and let one rip and it turns out someone was in the room with you and hears it because it was louder than you expected. Now you are being stared at as you try and discreetly fan it away....Skip the burritos next time.

I consider myself a pioneer of embarrassing moments though usually I embarrass others. If you have some of your own embarrassing moments out there I would love to hear some of them...Of course I promise I won't publish them....heh heh heh.

Until next time remember, no Payne, no gain.