Payneful Top 10 - Halloween Hangover 2006

Another Halloween has come and gone and as usual on the day after I am left a little sad, wishing it could last a little bit longer. Halloween is my favourite holiday and I am hyped up for weeks in advance in anticipation of scary movies, decorations and a boat load of candy. The parties are good too, especially when you come up with a really great costume. Now that it's all over I thought I would discuss 10 things about All Hallows Eve 2006 that I noticed.

10 )The Clean-Up - What a mess, The pumpkins just don't age well. The morning after Halloween they look awful, kind of how I imagine Farrah Fawcett would look like in the morning before make-up. Then there are the tattered decorations that you got at the dollar store that likely fall apart and get blown all over the yard. Finally candy wrappers and pieces of costumes litter the porch and need to be tossed. Luckily for me garbage day was this morning.

9)Teenagers - My parents wouldn't let me go out once I turned 13 and I have kept that tradition alive with my kids. I think Halloween is for the little ones and seeing a lazy teenager without a costume or with a poor attempt at one. I had one kid show up with a cheap dollar store plastic mask and otherwise regular clothes...and he had the mask pushed up on the top of his head. I wanna scream "get outta here" and fake like I am gonna hit em, but I suppose that's in poor taste.

8)Kids Don't Scare Easy Anymore - When I was little my friends and I would be freaked out when a grown up had a spooky costume. Now kids are exposed to so much violence and gore that anything we do as grown ups bores the kids. I dressed as the grim reaper and managed to terrify my dog and 1 group of 3 kids that skipped my place after seeing me lurking in the shadows. What's up with that. 1 four yr old actually laughed at me when I tried to scare her. Ugh!

7)Costumes Suck Now - There are exceptions of course, and I don't want to sound like a crazy old guy, but when I was young there were some fabulous home made costumes. 95% of the costumes I see now are 'cute' and mass produced. It's all Power Rangers and Disney Characters and Super heroes. My Mom once made me a costume, from scratch, that had me looking like a Russian Czar. I won a best costume prize for that one too. Thanks Mom.

6)The Candy is So Small - Every year it seems the candy gets smaller and less varied. When I trick or treated, you still got full sized chips and chocolate bars. Now you get 3 smarties or 4 M & M's per package. It's ridiculous. I had to send my kids to 4 times as many houses to ensure they came back with the required 30 pounds of candy, (What?! I can't trick or treat so the kids are my slave labour).

5)Everyone Hides Or Leaves - I was shocked and appalled by the number of houses with the lights out. I think barring religious or work-related objections it is every citizen's duty to give out candy. You cheap b***ards.

4)Scary Movies, or Lack Thereof - I dunno maybe I am just being unfairly negative this year and it's altered my perception, but it seems like there were hardly any scary movies on TV last night. I did manage to see 'Dawn of the Dead' one of my all time favourites on City TV and I saw that another channel had Halloween 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 running back to back, but not a lot of others. Has it become politically incorrect to show scary movies on TV now?

3) PC Costumes - Speaking of political correctness, now costumes are falling victim to the morality police. My kid's school won't allow weapons of any kind. I don't mean real weapons, I mean costume weapons. I understand the fear and all the school shooting headlines but it's pretty sad when a kid has to be a Cowboy or Sherriff without a six-shooter, or a Ninja without a sword. I guess dressing as Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre is out of the question too then.

2) Pumpkin Seeds and Pumpkin Pies - Alright I don't want the whole post to be negative so here is the token positive entry. I love roasting pumpkin seeds! My latest recipe is to put a little Pam on the skillet and then add seasoning salt, garlic powder and chili powder and toast em up. YUMMY! For an added kick add Lousiana Hot Sauce! Of course if pumpkin pie is your thing, now is a great time for making them.

1)Where Are The Kids? - I got 20 kids on what I thought to be a busy residential street. I expected 80 and got 1/4 of that. I am not alone either. Everyone I spoke too had less kids than ever and that's a shame. Don't kids realize the potential goldmine of Halloween Candy? They end up collecting close to 100 bucks worth of junk food and that is just a good thing regardless of how you look at it.

Only 365 days to go now until Halloween '07 and hopefully I'll get more kids showing up. Now if you'll excuse me I have to sort 30 pounds of candy so I can get dibs on all the 'Laffy Taffy!'

Until next time remember, no Payne, no gain!