A Payneful Guide to Life

I often am disappointed when I look around and see how people act these days. Kids are disrespectful, adults are hostile and no one seems very courteous. It makes me sad and I can't sit idly by and not do my part to help improve the situation so the following is a guide to help people lead a better life. Many of you don't need my help as you are such upstanding citizens, but if you know anyone that needs a reality check, by all means send this list to them. So here goes.

Show Respect - This one is huge for me, and when I say respect I don't mean in a 'gangsta' kind of way, I mean real respect. Say Sir, or Ma'am when you are dealing with someone in authority. It is the underlying theme for this whole list.

Listen - Listen when somebody with more life experience than you offers advice. They have been around and maybe they actually know what they are talking about. At the very least listen politely.

Be Nice To People - I don't mean suck up to your boss. I mean unless someone has been unkind to you, be nice. It doesn't matter if it's a janitor, a lawyer, a policeman or your supervisor. Be nice or Karma will get you...ok maybe I should have excluded lawyer on this list.

Help - Unless it puts you in a dangerous situation, help. I always look at a situation like what if it was me? Or my family? Wouldn't I want help? So help. Help an old lady cross the street. Help a kid open a door. Help someone get their car out of the snow. Help the injured. Help the police. Helping is good for the soul.

Volunteer - Coach a kids team or work at a soup kitchen. There are lots of organizations that need your help. Big Brothers, or Cub Scouts, you name it. You'll be rewarded with the satisfaction of developing someone and helping make them better off.

Stand Up For What You Believe In - Sometimes I stand up for what I believe in and it doesn't work out. Most times however, it does work out and that's what makes it worthwhile. It could be something minor or something global, the bottom line is it builds character. Try it.

Try to Relax - I admit that I have difficulty with this one. I have suffered the effects of stress and it was one of the darkest times of my life. I want to do a better job, and I recommend all of you do the best you can to manage your stress. Make time to do nothing. Plan on an afternoon of complete and utter laziness, (Just not while at work). Even fun things can sometimes end up being a lot of work so give yourself time to unwind, I beg you.

Make Light of Most Situations - Everyone that knows me realizes how much of a knob I am and it's certainly not for everybody. Studies have shown though that laughter is good for you so make it happen. I'm not suggesting that you make jokes at someone's funeral, (although I hope people do exactly that at mine) but unless it is clearly in poor taste, laugh about it. Car won't start? Laugh. Speeding ticket? Joke with the Police Officer giving you the ticket. He's just doing his job and you were probably at fault so don't take it personal, laugh it off. Laugh, laugh, laugh, joke, joke, joke!

Be Proud - I am actually fairly insecure which shocks a lot of people and I think a lot of people have hidden insecurities so when there is something you should be proud of don't be humble. Toot your own horn early and often. When you were a kid and you brought home some great (crappy) artwork what did you say? "Look what I made Mom!" and you thought it was the greatest drawing ever when really it probably wasn't. Still you were proud and tooted your own horn TOOT TOOT! Keep it up.

Work Hard - Nothing satisfies like the feeling of accomplishment after a job well done. The harder the job the better the feeling. How do you think Edmund Hillary felt when he reached the top of Everest? Or how Ray Bourque felt when he finally won the Stanley Cup? Or how I felt when I finished Resident Evil 4 on my Gamecube? Ok I could have had a better list, let's face it, who hasn't climbed Everest? You know I'm right though, accomplishing a tough task boosts your spirits.

I am no Dr Phil, but I guarantee you if you follow my simple rules for living you will have a more rewarding life. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. TOOT TOOT!

Until next time remember, no Payne, no gain!