I Want a Dog

As has been documented on here recently, many of you know that I have moved. Well the new compound is much more spacious and I would love to have a dog to run the grounds...ok my new place is a half of a duplex and my 'grounds' are smaller than a tennis court but I want a dog anyway.

I am a pet lover, and always have been. I got my first Dog, Nicky, when I was 5. He was a miniature toy poodle and my best buddy. When you're a kid you always think your dog is the best, but looking back I see why my parents eventually got rid of him. While I was amazed at how fast he ran and how many tricks he did I overlooked his flaws. He occasionally ate his own poop, tore up our furniture and had a knack for destroying the TV Guide whenever we went out. I think he had issues with abandonment and figured he'd get even by wrecking our TV viewing plans.

Next I got a cat, BJ, as a kitten and that was fun, he could climb anything and loved to play. he lived to be 18 and was the greatest cat ever. when he was about 4 or 5 we also got a little dog named Joey. My Mom wanted to call him 'Buns' but I told her that was lame. Joey was hyper and as a puppy infuriated my laid back cat. the two would wrestle every once in a while and it seemed a lot like Garfield and Odie. The two both lived a really long time and BJ would occasionally attack the neighbour's dog if it picked on my dog. Joey had a strange talent for removing the backs from my Mom's earrings...he wouldn't eat them, just take the backs off. Talk about a stupid pet trick. BJ would from time to time bring home dead animals for us which he was quite proud of, I don't think my Mom appreciated this particular talent, though as a teenaged hoodlum I found it pretty cool. By the time BJ was 18 he had hip pain and was bald on his entire tummy. (Oops I said tummy again) He had slowed somewhat but was fairly healthy and cool right to the end.

When I was a grown up I got a Siberian Husky named Jake. He was the coolest. Black and White with white eyes. As a huge Canucks fan I had him trained to give me a high 5 when I said 'Canucks' and he would howl if I named any other team (especially Toronto or the Rangers). He looked like a wolf and was smart and fun and protective. My Fiancee at the time was a crazy cat-lady in training so we also had 3 cats! When we split though I kept the dog and I had him when I met my wife. While I was single though Jake was great for meeting girls!

My wife had her own place when we first met and I got her a cat named Gabriel that hated one box in particular that he constantly attacked and he enjoyed climbing curtains and legs. The leg climbing was ok when you were in jeans, not so cool in a bath towel though. Eventually Gabe turned out to be a girl kitty and had to go.

Later on after my wife had just had my daughter (the first surprise) we were living together but not yet married I still had a roommate at the time so there were 4 of us and my dog in the same house when one of the roomies bought his own dog! What a nightmare. The neat thing was that Jake wouldn't let the other dog anywhere near my daughter when I wasn't home. He'd be mean too. Once I got home though he would go back to his usual playful self although when my daughter cried Jake would howl.

That unfortunately is where the good pet stories end. Since Jake it has been nothing but failures. Next we got two kittens that after a week appeared to be dying. I took them to a shelter and I think they were diseased. Later that year we got two older cats that the owner had to get rid of...no good, they were great for laying around but they had no interest in the kids. My kids would try and play with them and they would hide.

We went a while before trying again...this time a dog. She was sweet and loved my wife and I but hated my son. She would crap in his room or the playroom and growl at him when he was near. He was like 3 years old or less. How could she hate him so much? Well after attempting to turn me into kibble I sent her packing.

We got to Winnipeg in '03 and have tried 2 hamsters, both of which died but that is a whole other blog topic. Now frankly I am scared about what happens next. Is my luck going to change, or continue?

I have always preferred big dogs but have agreed that a small dog is better at this time. My wife is out of control though, she's already planning outfits for the dog. Outfits? Isn't it already wearing a fur coat? Maybe I should get a Chinese Crested. Those are the bald dogs with white hair on their heads and tails that usually win ugly dog contests. I used to say it's not a dog if you can yell loud enough to kill it, but I don't want to upset the kids so I won't yell. I just hope I can prevent him/her from being a yapping trembler that pees on the floor every time it's nervous.

Any suggestions for names or breeds would be appreciated. Time to read the want ads...

Have a great weekend and remember, no Payne no gain!