Payneful Top 10 - Reality, Best AND Worst

It gets around more than Paris Hilton and makes celebrities faster than scandal. You try to escape but it's no use, TV, the internet, even on your cell phone or I-Pod it surrounds you like a swarm of locusts but relax...I am gonna break it down for you.

The 10 best and 10 worst reality TV shows in today's;

PAYNEFUL TOP 10

10) The Contender - It started out with season 1 and featured Sugar Ray Leonard and Sylvester Stallone and 16 Welterweight boxers at various stages of their career fighting for a shot at a 1 Million dollar fight in Las Vegas. Produced by Survivor producer Mark Burnett it was very exciting and featured heavily edited fights set to a dramatic score that left you on the edge of your seat. Controversy followed when one contestant killed himself after filming was finished. Not the best ratings but a switch to ESPN has it back for season 2.

9) Gene Simmons Family Jewels - Ok I admit I have only seen the first episode but this guy is hilarious. Picture a rock legend with a former porn-star girlfriend that have been together for nearly 20 years and are raising two hilarious kids. The son, poor Nick Simmons (who is 17 and already 6'7") is constantly embarrassed by his doting father's attempts to bolster his budding music career. Funny show with a lot of situations we can actually relate to. I still wish I could stick my tongue out that far.

8) Hell's Kitchen - Former soccer pro and current hot shot chef Gordon Ramsay roasts his way through would-be chefs as he works towards the eventual winner who gets their own restaurant in a new Hotel in Vegas. Ramsay makes Simon Cowell look like a Wal-Mart greeter as he swears and scowls at every mistake. He is also very funny with his sarcastic wit and evil temper. I never thought seeing grown people cry could be so much fun!

7) Dog the Bounty Hunter - At first glance the whole crew of the show look like bikers but after watching for 5 minutes you realize the only people that need to be scared of Dog are the bad guys. You couldn't cast a movie with this many characters. Duane 'Dog' Chapman, a long-haired, leather-clad ex con with a heart of gold and 'Dog' like temper always gets his man and then inevitably helps them with his wife Beth has a big mouth, big hair and a big set of...umm skills, work with Dog's Sons and his 'brother' to keep America safe. Great show.

6) American Idol - Possibly the 2nd biggest reality show ever, the worlds greatest Karaoke contest actually evolved from a British show called Pop Idol and has launched the careers of many singers including Kelly Clarkson. Some of the performances are amazing and Simon Cowell is fun to watch when he shatters people's self-esteem in front of millions with his insults.

5) Big Brother - A big hit on CBS, Big brother has been around for a while and is currently on its 7th season. If most reality shows are a sprint, this one is a marathon with contestants forced to live in a house without TV for months all while surrounded by cameras, under the watchful eye of the proverbial 'Big Brother'. The cameras are everywhere including the bathroom and are running 24 hours a day to the delight of millions. 'House guests' as they are called vote to evict each other every week until there is only 1 left. A lot of eye candy and full of lies and betrayals this show will be around for a while.

4) Amazing Race - Hosted by the likeable Phil Keoghan, this race is amazing. Contestants usually in pairs, (once they had whole families) come from all walks of life. They might be best friends, husband and wife, a mother and son, exes, gay couples, you name it they all bring drama. The race takes them around the world and through many different tasks with the winners getting a million dollars. One season even featured the winner of another reality show and her boyfriend (Amber and Rob who met on Survivor). About to start it's 10th season, it shows no signs of stopping.

3) Rockstar (Supernova) - Season one was an audition to find a new singer for the band INXS but unlike American Idol, this was no karaoke contest, these singers rock! Canadian JD Fortune won and is currently on tour with INXS. This season features a supergroup with Tommy Lee, former Metallica bassist Jason Newsted, and Former G & R guitarist Gilby Clarke. Once again a Canadian is in the running, Lukas Rossi is in the final 10 and tearing it up. Most of the performances on this show are off the hook and with the uber-cool Dave Navarro as host and eye candy Brook Burke emceeing the action you can't go wrong.

2) The Ultimate Fighter - This show has almost single-handedly launched the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC)in to the public consciousness where it is quickly overtaking the sport of boxing as the worlds biggest combat sport. The show debuted on Spike TV and has consistently 'beaten' the competition in network ratings. Hockey, NASCAR, even Basketball have been usurped by this show which features 16 fighters in two weight classes vying for a 6 figure contract with the UFC. The show also acts as a launchpad for advertising UFC PPV's and regular 'Ultimate Fight Nights' as well as another show, 'Unleashed' which features some of the best action from the 13 year history of the UFC. If you know who Chuck Liddell, Tito Ortiz or Randy Couture is then you have probably seen this show.

1) Survivor - Wow, what can you say about Survivor? The show is huge. It is watched by millions around the globe and is the brain-child of Mark Burnett. Hosted by former 'Rock and Roll Jeopardy' host Jeff Probst, the show takes place usually on some tropical island, although it has also been in the outback of Australia and the plains of Africa the show pits contestants for 39 days with very little in the way of amenities, usually just the clothes on their backs and a fresh water supply nearby that is often in need of sterilization. Contestants don't eat well, don't sleep well and to the joy of the viewers, don't get along well either. Survivor season 1 winner Richard Hatch who is now in jail was the first of many winners of possibly the best reality show ever. Watch it, I know you want to.

Now for the bonus! Unfortunately, not all reality shows are good ones. In fact most are awful and the ration is probably 10 - 1. Since I don't have the time, patience or desire to see every reality show, I have simply put down the 10 worst shows that I have seen. Now by 'seen' that could mean, paused on briefly while channel surfing, which is patently unfair but so what. It's my blog and I'll do what I want. So in honour of John Bradley, (it's an inside joke) Here are the 10 worst reality shows;

10) America's Got Talent - ...maybe, but not on this show. The judges include a british guy that bad mouths people, (I wonder where they got that idea) pop-star and actress Brandy as well as David Hasselhoff...what? He's huge in Europe! Hosted by Regis Philbin the show is kind of like the gong show, only not quite so good.

9) So You Think You Can Dance - Who cares, not my thing. You want to impress me why not try 'So You Think You Can Fight' or 'So You Think You Can Shoot'...'nuff said.

8) America's Next Top Model - Ok I admit, seeing Naomi Campbell is easy on the eyes, but these models are mostly neurotic, ill behaved, anorexics than need a nap and a sandwich. They might make great models but when they turn sideways they disappear.

7) Project Runway - What could be worse than a show about models? how about a show about the people that make the clothes? Seriously, another set of pouting prima donnas, only now they have scissors! Once again nice eye candy with Supermodel Heidi Klum as host but booooooooring. Some of the clothes they make look like something my 6 yr old drew and put on my fridge.

6)Canadian Idol - Look, I am very patriotic, but this show sucks. The winner gets the chance to record an album before going back to playing in front of 300 people in a bar in Moosomin. It's pathetic that they try to pass these people off as 'stars' when they are virtually forgotten a week after the show ends. Quick name the winner of any season of Canadian Idol! See what I mean?

5) Surreal Life - This show has replaced 'Celebrity Boxing' as the place that has been's go to die. Pathetic to see people like Verne Troyer, Cory Feldman, Chynna, Brigitte Nielsen and Flava Flav grasping desparately for one last glimpse of fame. Brutal.

4) Nashville Star - Think American Idol but worse...Country music! AAAAAH!

3) The Batchelor/Batchelorette - So you want a rose huh? This show pits either a gang of backstabbing men, or gossiping women against each other in order to find 'true love', (that's the sound of me retching) and possibly marriage. Stupid.

2) Intervention - A reality show that features 'interventions' for various alcoholics, gamblers, chronic shoppers and drug addicts. Painful moments between family members and friends and while they occasionally have happy endings, it is just too much. I don't want to see a family's dirty laundry and I find the whole thing vile.

Now the moment you've been waiting for;

1) The Simple Life - Paris Hilton and her friend/enemy Nicole Ritchie, two rich spoiled women trying to live like normal people. While it may not be as popular as her other work in front of a camera, this show is probably viewed by more people. I hate Paris Hilton...and her little dog too ah ha ha ha ha!

There you have it. 2 for the price of 1, while it isn't an all encompassing list I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. Another regular feature will be debuting soon after the overwhelming feedback I got when Sideshow ran things here so stay tuned. Until next time remember, no Payne no gain!