I'm Evil...Wasps Beware!

There have been a LOT of wasps this year and I don't think I've ever seen anything like it. They are ubiquitous (that means everywhere...I was reading Reader's Digest and am trying to enrich my word power!) and they are nasty! They frighten the children and roll around in any outdoor meals, sometimes doing a kamikaze into a soft drink which can be pretty unpleasant when you drink without seeing it! So I decided to declare war on these jaundiced predators with a constant escalation of force.

• Initially I mostly swore at them and frowned a lot, and not surprisingly, it wasn't very effective. Clearly I needed to step up.
• Next I began swatting them with my ball cap. With my cat like reflexes I managed to kill some while annoying many others. The death toll began but again I was not satisfied.
• Moving on to phase 3 I implemented OPERATION BAIT AND SMACK which entailed using some food as bait and then smacking away with s small flat piece of wood. I killed about 5 in a 5 minute span but they just sent in reinforcements so on to phase 4.
• I admit phase 4 was counter-productive and involved me leaning back into my car seat to squish one (albeit accidentally) unfortunately it also lead to casualties on the human side as I got stung and began doing the "Swearing and hopping Jig" usually reserved for when you stub a toe or hit your thumb with a hammer. Finally on to phase 5.
• Phase 5 was masterful. I found a WWMD (Wasp Weapon of Mass Destruction) that killed them by the dozens. I simply cut the top off of a 2 litre pop bottle, flipped it and placed it back inside upside down. Next I filled it with about an inch of my secret recipe that wasps can't resist, deloyed my traps and waited. What followed was sheer wasp atrocities with a death toll approaching 60...I don't have much of a wasp problem now.

I admit I did feel a little guilty when I emptied the traps to find the carcasses of so many wasps but hey I don't share my barbecued hamburgers with anyone! Now if only I had a trap for members of the NDP...

Until next time remember, no Payne no gain!